This One's For Katie

Once upon a time, my best friend lived in Massachusetts. Her name, at the time, was Katie Anonymous.

Behold, Katie Anonymous!


Anyway, now she lives in Texas, so her name is "Who? Oh, yea her." Frankly, this name has too many syllables, so I try not to say it too often.

I still do miss her dearly, so here are 5 Things The Internet Should Know About Who? Oh, yea her.:

1) Katie is a Jew.

I don't mean Jew in the way that JEWS are Jews. She wasn't born of a Jewish vagina. She doesn't eat strictly kosher. I'm pretty sure she spent the last 5 Sabbaths passed out from excess drinking. She doesn't really even fully believe in G-d. Still, she is a Jew. You might not understand this, but that just means that you don't understand what makes Jews Jews.

2) Katie likes porn.

This one is a given. Everyone likes porn. Contrary to belief, Katie is a person. Moving on!

3) Katie's boyfriend was alive when the Mongol's ruled China.

He is old. Fact.

4) Katie once killed a man because he didn't satisfy her in bad, and killed his son because she could.

She is cold-blooded, insane, and unquestionably sassy.

5) Katie is a lot of bit racist.

She will claim everyone is a little bit racist. Not her. There is more than a little bit of racism in her voice when she calls to tell me about the "f*cking Mexicans" that touch her boobies and rape her face. GET OVER IT! I know for a fact that if a white man was touching her boobies or raping her face, she would NOT be complaining.

(Unless it was this guy)


This blog might as well have been called "5 Things I Love About My Best Friend Katie Anonymous". Makes no difference.

This is all truth. Fact. Look it up --> www.wikipedia.org

And peace.