DERRICK DIRECT #1

LISTEN YOU BABY. Just shut up. Geez. It's one thing to cry over something, it's another to cry over something else which is stupider than the first thing!

GOD! And it's a WHOLE 'NOTHER THING to suck it up and NOT cry about it.

All you babies, specifically you OH BIG BABY OF THE LAND, need to grow balls and use em. I don't wanna hear you cry anymore, unless you fall into one of these socially acceptable crying situations:

**you are under the age of 1

**you just popped your elbow out of your socket while weightlifting at the Beijing 2008 Olympics

**you are watching Spider-Man 2

THAT IS IT. NO EXCEPTIONS. IF YOU'RE NOT DOING EITHER OF THOSE THINGS, SHUT THE FRONT DOOR!!! NO ONE CARES. IF YOU FEEL LIKE YOU NEED TO CRY OVER EVERY LITTLE THING, THEN JUMP INTO A FURNACE.

That'll give you something to cry about.

But don't, cuz it's not on my list of acceptable crying situations.

LOVE,
DIRECT DERRICK