My band's new album "sensible people in an impudent way" is out now. I would prefer you buy it in store or from me (the booklet is so pretty) but you can buy it on itunes here if you choose :)








my band name, Alimentation Couche-Tard is French for "goes to bed late"









The Track List:

1) Meet the Marrow Most Cheerfully
2) Looking Within Myself (To See What Was There)
3) Look at His Friends
4) Mouth Work Faster
5) Silly Things
6) Other People's Backyards
7) The Suicide Shuffle
8) Dump Truck Jungle Love Letters
9) Scooter
10) The Reward for Conformity

4 Fun Ways to Torture Your Friends!

Let's face it, we all love torture. And some of us love our friends. (Some of us don't). Either way, torturing your friends can be a really fun social activity when that most villainous of terrorist strikes occurs: the boredom bomb!!!

Anyway, here's the funnest ways to torture your friends, based on my experience. Make sure you get them first before they can get you!!! :)

1) Chinese Water Torture. Tie them down somewhere. Bed works. Tub is fine also. Then slowly drip cold water onto the same spot on their forehead, slowly, drip. drop. drip. drop. They will go insane. Make sure you film it and put it on facebook. Let the hilarity ensue.

2) Pluck out all their hair and make them eat it. This one takes some time, so make sure you clear a whole day for it. Works best on a female friend or a male friend with longer hair. All you need is tweezers and a pie! Simply pluck each hair out of their head, one by one, then insert into the pie. Cook the pie. Tell your friend you won't untie them until they eat the pie. Of course, you can eat it with them if you choose. It's kind of mean to make them eat the whole pie...

3) Crucifixion. Many people don't regard this as torture, but more as a way to cruelly execute someone. Everyone, however, agrees it is fun! And relatively cheap! All you need is some wood, nails and a hammer. If you're looking to avoid spendage (and really, who isn't in this silly economy of ours) then you can use planks and nails that are already in your house! Just search your basement or around the house. This can be part of the fun! Of course, improvising is welcome here. For a fun alternative, try using plain kitchen knives on a wooden wall (or course you may need to Spackle after). If you want to role play, you can even simulate the crucifixion of Jesus by creating a crown out of thorns or construction paper. WARNING: Make sure you remove your friend after a few hours so they don't DIE!!! Also, when nailing their hands, make sure you puncture through the wrist, not the hands, as generally the weight of a person makes it impossible to crucify through the actual hands.

4) Dial-up internet access. Just replace their Broadband Internet with dial-up. Watch the torture truly begin.

Hope you enjoyed this list!

(I need help)

PAULA ABDUL PIC OF THE WEEK

Hello All,

You may remember awhile back during the run of So You Think You Can Dance I did a fabulous Kat Deely pic of the week segment. Well! With the new season on American Idol heating up, I have decided to bring it back, but this time, with Paula. Should be easy!

And now, the first Paula Abdul pic of the week:

UPDATE: The Essential 10

Hi All,

The Essential 10 is complete! Be sure to scroll down and read the updated list. Huzzah!

I need to know!!

Who reading this is awesome!!! Let me know!!!

The Essential 10

Help me fill in the Essential 10. I will edit as more become available (please give me your suggesations [suggestions] in the comments and justifications if you feel they are needed).

1) FAT
2) ANOREXIC
3) TRANNY
4) CRAZY!
5) SLUTTY
6) SSSSUUUPPPEEERRR GAY
7) EXCESSIVELY FOREIGN
8) COKED OUT
9) JEWISH
10) REALLY HOT (brown chicken brown cow!)

[BONUS: 44) OBAMA LOOK-A-LIKE]

Thanks

UPDATE! WE'RE DONE!! THANKS EVERYONE FOR THEIR HELP (and to Steve and Katie for trying, but failing.)

My Really Raunchy (AND REALLY TRUE) Sex Story

I probably shouldn't share this on a blog but whatever.

I woke up last Wednesday all hot and sweaty. Too many blankets! After peeling myself out of bed, I realized I was alone. So naturally, I did what any guy would do first thing in the morning when alone in his bedroom. I grabbed my computer, and went onto Facebook, to make sure no one left me any wall posts in my sleep. Usually this is futile, but today was different. I got a message from an old "friend" simply asking me to meet her at our special spot so that we could "do the deed" (you know, drench the pussy, scrub the Scruffy). I was so excited. It had been far too long since I had any hand-on-pussy time.

After sending back a cool "see you in a few" I headed over to her place. She answered the door wearing nothing but her undergarments covered by her overgarments, and she beckoned me in with one sensual finger and the words "You can come in, sorry the place is a mess"

Upon entering, I immediately began to take off my clothes, but stopped once my jacket and shoes were off. Didn't want to dirty the carpet.. at least not until later ;)

"I hope you don't mind, I brought a friend." She said this as she crossed the living room and sat down upon the couch. She snapped her fingers and and tapped on her thigh, and almost instantly you could see her pussy start to come. "I was hoping we could all have a bit of fun together" She said, with the vaguest hint of a smile.

"Of course, the more the merrier" I said, knowingly.

"But", she interjected, gesturing down to her lap. "scruffy comes first".

Yes!! The time was now. I picked her up in my manly arms (she is a bit chubby I admit) and placed her into the bathtub. I began to rub my hands all over her pussy, massaging it gently as I felt it her get wetter and wetter. I felt her squirm and begin to protest, but I admit I sort of loved it as she put up a fight. Made it more fun. As we got more into it, she started to claw at me and subsequently gave me a few new marks on my shoulder. Something I am used to at least.

I kept going though, and eventually, I was done. I could tell by the smell. When I began she reeked of shit and tuna, but after I cleaned her up she smelled like watermelon and clean, matted fur.

After I washed the kitten, Scruffy, I relaxed with my friend until her friend came by. He was a dude. We played boggle, watched some TV, then I went home and went to bed.

All in all, a pretty fun day!


The next day I went over there and we did more of the same (minus washing the cat!) and the same the day after that. On Saturday we had a hot threesome involving the cat (three and a half-some?) and lots of sex toys. Sunday we went to the movies. I love my friends!!!