This Post is Dedicated To Joshua Campbell Payne

First off, this is Josh and me. I have altered this photo for anonymity's sake (itz the internetz!!)

Yes, I know, we are adorable.

Now this post has two main functions. Number one, it is so that when folks inevitably search for Josh, they will come across my blog!

Joshua Payne. Joshua Campbell Payne. Josh Payne. Josh Campbell Payne. JC Payne. Mr. Ouch. Josh C Payne. Joshua C Payne. Josh Payne, M.D. Mr. Joshua C. Payne Jr. M.D. Jocampa. Malisonxpert. JoshyPoo317. Mrs. Tom Selleck. JCP in the hizzii. Joshua Payne. Joshua Campbell Payne. Josh Payne. Josh Campbell Payne. JC Payne. Mr. Ouch. Josh C Payne. Joshua C Payne. Josh Payne, M.D. Mr. Joshua C. Payne Jr. M.D. Jocampa. Malisonxpert. JoshyPoo317. Mrs. Tom Selleck. JCP in the hizzii.Joshua Payne. Joshua Campbell Payne. Josh Payne. Josh Campbell Payne. JC Payne. Mr. Ouch. Josh C Payne. Joshua C Payne. Josh Payne, M.D. Mr. Joshua C. Payne Jr. M.D. Jocampa. Malisonxpert. JoshyPoo317. Mrs. Tom Selleck. JCP in the hizzii.Joshua Payne. Joshua Campbell Payne. Josh Payne. Josh Campbell Payne. JC Payne. Mr. Ouch. Josh C Payne. Joshua C Payne. Josh Payne, M.D. Mr. Joshua C. Payne Jr. M.D. Jocampa. Malisonxpert. JoshyPoo317. Mrs. Tom Selleck. JCP in the hizzii.Joshua Payne. Joshua Campbell Payne. Josh Payne. Josh Campbell Payne. JC Payne. Mr. Ouch. Josh C Payne. Joshua C Payne. Josh Payne, M.D. Mr. Joshua C. Payne Jr. M.D. Jocampa. Malisonxpert. JoshyPoo317. Mrs. Tom Selleck. JCP in the hizzii.Joshua Payne. Joshua Campbell Payne. Josh Payne. Josh Campbell Payne. JC Payne. Mr. Ouch. Josh C Payne. Joshua C Payne. Josh Payne, M.D. Mr. Joshua C. Payne Jr. M.D. Jocampa. Malisonxpert. JoshyPoo317. Mrs. Tom Selleck. JCP in the hizzii.Joshua Payne. Joshua Campbell Payne. Josh Payne. Josh Campbell Payne. JC Payne. Mr. Ouch. Josh C Payne. Joshua C Payne. Josh Payne, M.D. Mr. Joshua C. Payne Jr. M.D. Jocampa. Malisonxpert. JoshyPoo317. Mrs. Tom Selleck. JCP in the hizzii.Joshua Payne. Joshua Campbell Payne. Josh Payne. Josh Campbell Payne. JC Payne. Mr. Ouch. Josh C Payne. Joshua C Payne. Josh Payne, M.D. Mr. Joshua C. Payne Jr. M.D. Jocampa. Malisonxpert. JoshyPoo317. Mrs. Tom Selleck. JCP in the hizzii.Joshua Payne. Joshua Campbell Payne. Josh Payne. Josh Campbell Payne. JC Payne. Mr. Ouch. Josh C Payne. Joshua C Payne. Josh Payne, M.D. Mr. Joshua C. Payne Jr. M.D. Jocampa. Malisonxpert. JoshyPoo317. Mrs. Tom Selleck. JCP in the hizzii.Joshua Payne. Joshua Campbell Payne. Josh Payne. Josh Campbell Payne. JC Payne. Mr. Ouch. Josh C Payne. Joshua C Payne. Josh Payne, M.D. Mr. Joshua C. Payne Jr. M.D. Jocampa. Malisonxpert. JoshyPoo317. Mrs. Tom Selleck.

Ok, that should take care of that.

The second post is to praise him, not only only because he made me the banner you see at the top of the page, but also because he is paying me to do so.

So anyway, here are 5 Fabulous Things
You May Not Know About Josh.

1) Josh invented Sales. The story is actually quite funny (and he tells it best) but it all came about when he was in a Crate & Barrel and he was attempting to buy some overpriced knick-knacks and home decor. He refused to pay the listed price, and began arguing with a sales clerk. Now, fabulous thing 1.5 might as well be that whenever Josh is angry he suddenly reverts to a stereotypical hick accent. So he is yelling at the guy, and says "I cannot BELIEVE you would try to Say-il (trying to say sell) this shit at this price!" The sales clerk, an avid Sailor, thought he was making reference to a Sailboat made completely out of the shit. The thought tickled the employee so that he ended up selling the knick-knack for 10% off. And things were never the same again.

2) Josh's IQ is in the 400's. Technically. Unfortunately, after 200 it just reverts back to zero, since we cannot record IQ that High. So he is sort of in his 0's... oh well, most believe that people so smart are so far above us that you might as well be talking to a retard since no one knows what the hell they are saying...

3) His blog, bowlofgranola.blogspot.com, was rated by the Bloggers United Life Learning Committee of Really Awesome Pages as the Top Blog in 2008 in the categories of Entertainment, Politics and Misc. Junk. It also won secondary prizes for Excellent Use of Non-Existant Prizes to Artificially Create Comments and the coveted Quality not Quantity Award for its excellent ensemble of reoccuring visitors. (Subsequently, his blog, thingsiinvented.blogspot.com was runner up for the not-so-coveted Failed Potential award, coming in second to my own blog http://glasshalffullreviews.blogspot.com/)

4) The special skills section of his resume is over 700 pages long. Oddly enough, Team Player is no where on the list... but Concise Braggery is on their twice!

5) Josh is at the top of the food chain. Trust me. I've tried to eat him. While he was sleeping. Passed out drunk. I still failed. So has everyone else I know. It's just not possible. I dare you to try. You will also fail.


Goodnight, goons.