NostraDerrick - May Predictions

It's that time of the month again.

I am going to look into my crystal balls and predict the major events and news stories for the month of May.

*Scientists will discover that the reason this little piggy went whee whee whee all the way home was in fact swine flu. 2 weeks later, we will slaughter the little piggy and partake in his delicious swine-y goodness.

*Bacon is declared the national flower

*Lots of people will watch lots of porn.

*Due to lack of April showers, May flowers will not bloom. Instead, we will get May showers. No one knows what May showers brings, not even NostraDerrick, but whatever it is, it's not good.

*Zombie Bea Arthur will eat Betty White. Rue McClanahan, sensing the end is near, will reinvigorate her career by doing the innovative porn sitcom (and true sequel to the golden girls, F golden palace!) entitled Golden Shower Girls.

*Lots of people will watch lots of Golden Girls porn.

*Zombie Bea Arthur eats Rue McClanahan in the series finale of GSG. I'm not going into any more details than that. The show is cancelled after two weeks. It's disgusting.

*Time machine is invented on May 28, 2009. Used to go back in time and stop GSG from ever existing. Without GSG, the pressure to create a time machine is gone, and therefore doesn't exist, thus creating a time paradox we will never escape from.

Aaaand that's May! If none of this happens, it's likely just because you live in one of the alternate dimensions our time games created. Consider yourself lucky.