NostraDerrick - May Predictions

It's that time of the month again.

I am going to look into my crystal balls and predict the major events and news stories for the month of May.

*Scientists will discover that the reason this little piggy went whee whee whee all the way home was in fact swine flu. 2 weeks later, we will slaughter the little piggy and partake in his delicious swine-y goodness.

*Bacon is declared the national flower

*Lots of people will watch lots of porn.

*Due to lack of April showers, May flowers will not bloom. Instead, we will get May showers. No one knows what May showers brings, not even NostraDerrick, but whatever it is, it's not good.

*Zombie Bea Arthur will eat Betty White. Rue McClanahan, sensing the end is near, will reinvigorate her career by doing the innovative porn sitcom (and true sequel to the golden girls, F golden palace!) entitled Golden Shower Girls.

*Lots of people will watch lots of Golden Girls porn.

*Zombie Bea Arthur eats Rue McClanahan in the series finale of GSG. I'm not going into any more details than that. The show is cancelled after two weeks. It's disgusting.

*Time machine is invented on May 28, 2009. Used to go back in time and stop GSG from ever existing. Without GSG, the pressure to create a time machine is gone, and therefore doesn't exist, thus creating a time paradox we will never escape from.

Aaaand that's May! If none of this happens, it's likely just because you live in one of the alternate dimensions our time games created. Consider yourself lucky.

Paula Abdul Pic of The Week

If it wasn't for Paula Abdul, this blog wouldn't exist... *sigh*

Maybe I'll update more once Buffy is out of my life.

Anyway........

THE PAULA ABDUL PIC OF THE WEEK!!!

And a personal favorite.

Avid fans of this blog may notice I have a new time bar at the bottom of the screen. TIVO FTW!

Paula Abdul Pic of the Week

This one is probably my favorite...

THE 2009 DERKIES

Ladies and Gentlemen it's that time of year again. THE 2009 DERKIES╝, where we present the awards for the best of the year 2009. Sure, it's a bit early, but let's face it, the best of 2009 has come and come again. Why delay the inevitable?

AND SO HERE WEEEEE GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

BEST FILM OF 2009


WINNER: THE WATCHMEN

This movie had it all: f'd up "superheroes", fear of nuclear annhilation, a tittilating story, Rorschach, beautiful cinematography, and a big blue floppy penis. Insta-win.


RUNNER-UP: MY BLOODY VALENTINE 3D

Blood. Gore. In 3D. yes

BEST BOOK OF 2009

WINNER: FOOL by Christopher Moore

Why? I dunno, haven't read it. Books... ha!


RUNNER-UP: THE RED PEPPER by My Fronz

BEST SONG OF 2009

WINNER: "Thinking of You" by Katy Perry

Please, bitch, I sort of love Katy Perry. Does that make me gay?? (no that'd be my attraction to guys... what?!)


RUNNER-UP: "My Life Would Suck Without You" by Kelly Clarkson

Whatever, Kelly Clarkson does no wrong, get over it.

BEST TV SHOW

WINNER: LOST

LOST narrowly edges out our runner-up of this year. Sorry, BSG, but even with your amazing 3 hour finale, (especially the last two) LOST simply had a more consistent, exciting all-around year. Boo ya.


RUNNER-UP: BATTLESTAR GALACTICA

Went out with a Bang. BSG This year had some ups (OMG THE FINALE, WTF!!!!!) and some downs (Ellen's first two episodes back, WTF?Buttplug) but all in all this show will go down as one of the greatest.... everrrrrr

BEST WII GAME

WINNER: MADWORLD

Gory, beautiful, gory, fun, and gory. 4 words that describe Madworld to a T. Must buy.


RUNNER UP: THE HOUSE OF THE DEAD OVERKILL

In case anyone hasn't noticed, I love killing Zombies. This game allows me to do it, and do it with friends. Three thumbs up.

BEST XBOX 360 GAME

WINNER: SONIC'S ULTIMATE GENESIS COLLECTION

Like 40 or more of the best classic games ever?? For 30 bucks?! With acheivements?! I died.


RUNNER-UP: RESIDENT EVIL 5

Once again, killing zombies with Fronz. Win.

BEST PS3 GAME
N/A
(ohhhh fanboyism...)

There you have it. Congrats to all the DERKIES Winners this year.

PAULA ABDUL PIC OF THE WEEK!

WHAT A TREAT!

This week, the Paula Abdul pic of the week. IN .GIF FORMAT!!!

.GIF Courtesy of http://gickr.com/

Here they are broken down for you:




And what the heck, here's a shortened .GIF - yes, she is winking at you!

All images are mine, taken from American Idol, with my iPhone, thanks!

7 BEST VIDEOGAMES EVERRRRRRR - # 7

Hello Ladies and Gentlemans, it's blog time (now featuring: colors!). For those of you that don't know, I like videogames. Sort of a lot. I have easily played hundreds of games, possibly close to a thousand, if you include online flash games, computer games, rentals, games I own from all gens, arcade games.. Jizzum Krissum, it's a lot. Now I have never, EVER ranked these games in terms of favorites. Just as I have never done to movies. How could I ever come up with a Top 5, Top 10, even top 50,and then rank them?! Dear Goodness! Well, ladies, I have done it. And let me tell you, boys, it was hard. I have come up with my 7 favorite games ever. I will list the game, summarize the plot as I perceive it, explain why it's so awesome, and even throw a few quizzical tidbits of fun info on there involving my own personal play experiences. Oh, and you are not allowed to disagree with this list. It's canon. Without further ado, the 7th Best Videogame Everrrrrrr:

PHANTASY STAR ONLINE

Fuck. If you are like me, and I think you are, the mere mention of this game will send an uncomfortable shiver down your spine. You may start frothing at the mouth. You may feel an urge to kill something (and hope it drops a red box, dear God, let it drop a red box...), or may simply revert back to a nearly comatose, sleepless state staring at the computer screen and pushing imaginary buttons on that mammoth monstrosity known as the original Xbox Controller (or Dreamcast for you old schoolers) as if it were a phantom limb.

Now I have tried addicting games before: I've played World of Warcraft.. meh. I thought I was addicted to Snood for a bit, but I was just bored. I even spent many sleepless nights in Vana'diel playing FFXI. None compare to the MONTHS and HOURS I put into this stupid, repetitive, glitchy, beautiful game created by God himself.

The plot? Um, actually, I dunno... in the hundreds upon hundreds of hours I played this game, i didn't catch one. Something about being in space? Yea that's it! You're in space, and the humans and elfy things and robots are all living happily, until monsters come and steal all your Meseta and put all your most valuable items in a box, and eat them. The only way to get them back is to kill the beasts, which will cause them to dissapear, leaving the boxes behind. Conveniently, these creatures labeled the box by least rare to most rare, so that the players working together to recover the goods can yell and scream about why they deserve the contents of that precious red goodness.

Why is it so amazing? Well, you continuously smash the same button over and over again doing mundane combos, killing everything in a room, then moving on to the next one. Sound great? It is. It's a freaking loot drop game, and that's what's most important. And when you play it with friends, it's even better.



A few fun tidbits?

Sure. While I had multiple characters, my human character Deralma was the most used, reaching about Level 120 (the max being 200, yes I didn't even max out). He used both Melee and some magic for healing and ranged damage.

His initial outfit was red, and he specialized in Fire magic. He later used ice magic and turned to a frosty blue color (with hair to match). After receiving what was his ultimate weapon, two devastatingly powerful yellow shortswords (dual wield, FTW!), he changed his outfit and hair to match to a fun yellow, and used lightning. Wheeeeee!

While I put in hundreds of hours, most of it was logged in Offline with my friends (fronz?). I didn't have a Live account for long, since internet didn't work at college with XBox, and when I tried playing it online at home, it was rampart with cheaters and hackers. Of course, the hackers are responsible for my favorite weapon in the game, my dual yellow swords...

Awards and other titles worth noting:

#7 in best games of all time
Most Addicting Award
The Multiplayer Award
The Did-I-Really-Just-Play-That-Level-For-The-Thousanth-Time Award
The Most Pointless Familiar in anything Ever award.
The I Wanna Shoot My Friend in the Face for Being A Bigger Loot Whore Than Me Award

Paula Abdul Photo of the Week 3/4

Enjoy